Becoming Kings

Getting off the hamster wheel

Happy new year! I cannot wait to find out what this 2022 has in store for all of us. I hope you were able to find some time over the holiday and reflect on how you can become a better, more fulfilled version of yourself over the next 365 days. 

I was able to finally take some time off work and spend some much needed time with family and friends. Getting off life’s hamster wheel and relieving some of that persistent pressure was immensely valuable and healing. The most valuable part though? 

Being present.

For the first time in a long time, my mind wasn’t racing and thinking about the long list of tasks in front of me. I was able to simply be present in the moment with those around me. This simple yet very profound feeling will be an integral part of my evolution and development as a man in 2022. 

Take a few moments to be present with yourself and listen to the first Becoming Kings of 2022. Let’s chart a course to be more present in this new year.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Making the most of it. (0:58)
• Doing what makes you happy. (5:04)
• The exhausting hamster wheel. (10:02)
• What is it that would really challenge yourself? (14:45)
• Baby steps with a vision of progress. (18:41)

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Life is not a level playing field

Despite what people may think, skill and intelligence do not automatically equate to success. Those with fixed mindsets may see anything other than 100% success as failure, which is something to be ashamed of. Those who engage with growth mindset though only see failure as a gateway to success and progress. 

Defining the different qualities of those with fixed and growth mindsets is essential to understanding our inner wants and needs. Learning how one identifies and responds to challenges and adversity and thereafter focusing on how to grow is immensely valuable. Fixed mindset people will stay stagnant and become defensive. Instead of being triggered and taking things personally, they’re holding themselves back from a life of true wealth. 

On this episode of Becoming Kings, we identify the characteristics and qualities of those who come from fixed and growth mindsets. Life is not a level playing field, and those who are accepting of their shortcomings and use it as a launching pad will outperform those with natural gifts.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Another year has passed. (0:46)
• Wealth vs Scarcity. (4:46)
• Fixed mindset nice guys. (9:01)
• What are you going to decide? (12:49)
• Thank you! (15:41)

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What is your intention?

Leveling up year on year is something that men set out to do, but often fail to do. Whether these changes are big, life changing events, or small incremental improvements, we often find ourselves in the same situation and place that we were at the beginning of the year. 

I’m committed to making those changes stick. 

My theme for 2022 is commitment. I want to commit to doing the things I love most. Being outside, coaching, having amazing conversations, creating lasting memories and relationships. Commitment to spending more time doing the things that bring me joy is imperative to not staying stagnant. 

This episode is about committing to what makes you happy, while also focusing on what can challenge you. Let’s develop our discipline and integrity with our word in 2022. I want to challenge you in the same way I challenge myself.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• 2021 Reflections. (0:46)
• How can you add value? (5:16)
• Pre-planning vacations in advance. (9:56)
• Half days? (16:12)
• Do the things that make you excited. (21:48)

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Do you have the courage to really go for it?⁣

You have hopes and dreams.⁣ Chances are, many of the things you’ve sought after as an adult are the result of NOT having them as a child.⁣

⁣Herb King’s journey is no different in that respect.⁣

⁣My father grew up in Minnesota for hard working, blue collar parents.⁣⁣ Since he was a young boy, he had dreams of living an abundant lifestyle; one where his family didn’t have to live hand to mouth.⁣ And yet, even as he pursued his vision of success, there was an elephant in the room that was always present.⁣

After his wife of 37 years, my mom, passed away in 2006, he had a very serious decision to make.⁣ Would he utilize the same courage he tapped into to shape his career and come out of the closet, or continue living his secret life?⁣

In this episode, it’s so fun to sit down with my old man and talk about life, love and the pursuit of fulfillment.⁣

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• The Allure of the Big Apple. (2:10)
• Perseverance. (11:17)
• The Journey of Coming Out. (22:36)
• How Speaking Your Truth can be Polarizing. (33:13)
• Right vs Being Loving. (43:45)
• Laughing or Crying. (50:40)

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Progress Over Perfection

We’re here from New York City, one more time. Thanks for joining me today. In the last episode, we talked about stepping into the fear no matter what. You know what though? At times I have let the fear drive me into not taking action at all, especially when I was younger. 

Everything had to be perfect. Everything needed to be the best version of what it could be. Zero blemishes. Until I realized that was not going to be possible, I wouldn’t be able to account for everything. 

So much of life is doing the best you can, even if it isn’t your very best and then just keep moving forward. Consistency over time is better than putting in 100% effort all of the time because 100% probably won’t happen. 

Keep moving forward even in the face of shame and rejection. Focus on taking action. You’ve got this.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Live, on location in the Big Apple. (0:47)
• Shame and lack of commitment. (4:01)
• Action over perfection. (7:23)
• Keep moving forward! (11:14)
• 1% progress consistently over time. (13:57)

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Do it anyway.

This episode of the Becoming Kings is coming to you from the Big Apple. That’s right folks, I’m in New York City. The decision to come to New York City alone was made when even when I was fearful. Before I booked the flight, there were many people telling me, “you shouldn’t go, there’s a new covid variant, it’s crowded,” and everything else in between. 

So often we live our life out of fear. We do or do not do things because we’re fearful. It’s okay to be afraid, when it can become an issue is when you let it stop you — especially when that fear is coming from other people. 

Answer this: where in your life do you have things you want to accomplish, yet you continue to give power an external factor and how you show up? Double down on the risk that’s going to light you up.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• All about that Central Park action. (0:53)
• Don’t be an idiot. (5:12)
• Your fear list. (9:52)
• You care more about your need for growth. (14:51)
• Stay above the line and take care of you. (18:49)

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How do we meet our partner’s needs?

There’s a reason a million people are watching Alexi Turner’s TikTok videos. She’s been studying male behavior and tendencies for years in her pursuit to help women embrace their femininity. 

Alexi is an expert at determining the archetypes that men and women fill in society and subsequently how they behave when they romantically connect with one another. Studying and understanding her work could be essential to understanding our intimate relationships, every day interactions, and our own selves. 

We had a long, fascinating discussion on a wide variety of topics. From human archetypes, the modern day feminist movement, and resources we can use to develop ourselves. This is not a conversation you’ll want to miss if you’re looking to develop your intimate relationships in the new year.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Helping people understand their archetype. (0:51)
• Men and attraction. (7:38)
• Manager archetype. (19:46)
• The pressures of the feminist movement. (30:14)
• More common patterns of trauma. (39:56)
• Recommended reads. (47:48))

Resources from the episode

Iron

Queen’s Code by Alison Armstrong

Captivating by Stasi & John Eldredge

Wild At Heart by John Eldredge 

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

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How Mando taught me a lesson about trauma 

Impactful life lessons often come at the most unexpected time. The latest one for me came while walking my dog, Mando, who is now traumatized by a very intimidating trash can. But the more I thought about Mando’s traumatic experience with the trash can, as well as other dogs, something occurred to me. 

Unhealed trauma forces us to act to protect ourselves rather than fight for the things we want. 

Unless you deal with these unhealed wounds in your life — your triggers — you’ll never be able to enjoy anything because you’re giving your power away. It is imperative that we develop the tools needed to heal and move past trauma. 

Let’s talk about not only how to deal with these unresolved traumas, but the world of possibilities that lay on the other side of them. Minimizing ourselves is no longer an option. This episode of Becoming Kings is dedicated to living and loving as much as we’ve got, unapologetically.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

Episode 281: In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Life is like a box of…strawberries. (1:00)
• Imprinted trauma. (4:50)
• You’ve got to get better tools. (9:33)
• You CAN do this with the right support. (13:56)
• You’re robbing yourself by not healing your trauma. (17:34)

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We’re our own worst critics

Emanating more love than anger is a painful, but integral process. So many of us don’t treat ourselves with the love and compassion we deserve. The worst part of being overly self-critical though is this.

Our being angry and judgmental affects those around us. 

By being more empathetic and having a healthier relationship with anger, we in turn emanate more compassion, love, and understanding to others. It’s imperative to realize that we are not alone in feeling anger towards ourselves and life in general. We just have to explore techniques that allow us to develop a healthier relationship with anger and judgement. 

What triggers are setting you off and how are they related to the parts of you that need healing? I explore those questions and much more on this episode of Becoming Kings.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

Episode 281: In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Everytime I judge someone else… (1:03)
• Creating a healthier relationship with anger. (3:45)
• You can’t run from anger forever. (7:23)
• There’s always work to be done. (10:33)
• Make note when you’re triggered. (12:12)

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We’re given seeds, not trees

People often times are motivated to plant and harvest the seeds we’re given. What’s the real challenge though? 

The daily watering.

Many see wealth as the accumulation of monetary assets. More importantly, we have to recognize that the definition of wealth is fluid.  Having an abundance of love and giving in your heart is an essential part of your wealth mindset. Think of how much value you can add to someone’s life by giving. Even if you give by doing something menial, like complimenting someone, you are adding immeasurable value to their lives.

Let’s find out how we can start using our hearts as vessels and not vaults. What are some ways we can accumulate wealth by giving every day instead of taking? How can we water those seeds every day?

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Spirituality and Wealth. (0:47)
• We are given seeds, not trees. (2:57)
• Your heart is a vessel and not a vault. (6:06)
• Giving is caffeine to the soul. (8:53)
• Giving is living. (10:56)

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