Becoming Kings

Putting the wind back in your sails 

No matter how hard you try, you’re going to feel like you’re in a funk at some point. We all procrastinate, refuse to address something we know needs to be fixed, or straight up feel lazy. Some might call it “checking in with yourself,” but when I go through a funk, it feels like a self pity party. 

Yet, when you do something you don’t feel like doing, you feel so much better and proud of yourself. The question is, how do we balance honoring your feelings with gritting our teeth and doing things we don’t want to? Consistency in doing these things is key to getting out of funks, but extremely difficult to attain.   

On this episode of Becoming Kings, I’ll tell you a story of how I broke out of a funk last weekend and plan to avoid my feelings of self-pity in the future. Let’s develop that consistency needed to avoid feeling stuck in the mud.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Let’s be real. (0:46)
• All about those single ladies. (5:05)
• Being one with your body vs pushing through. (8:49)
• How do you shift? (12:53)
• How do you get out of the shittiness? (15:44)

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Looking inward when looking for a partner 

So much of the discourse around modern dating and relationships revolves around people’s success and status. Are you and your partner successful in your professional life and aesthetically beautiful? Only then will your relationship be considered “successful” by the wider population.  However, we know the aesthetics of these relationships can be h0llow as they often lack inner connection and synergy. 

The truth is, it’s really hard to connect and identify qualities of someone’s personality that we feel compatible with. You can go on date after date and not feel intellectually compatible with anyone. Luckily, Dr. Nicole LePera has identified what inner qualities we find most attractive to help people find that inner compatibility. 

This episode of Becoming Kings is dedicated to identifying those we feel better matched with on an intellectual level.  We’ll go through Dr. LePera’s qualities and see if we can use her ideas to find true inner synergy with our partners.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• How long does willpower work? (0:52)
• The Holistic Psychologist. (0:48)
• Your triggering is your guide. (4:18)
• Vulnerability. (8:37)
• Radical Honesty. (12:02)
• In review. (15:23)

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Square pegs and round holes

So often we resort to denying ourselves basic needs for short-term gains. We use willpower as a means to plow through our problems, work, and life in general. Shoving square pegs into round holes is not a healthy avenue for growth. 

Everyone has lifelong habits they’ve had trouble breaking. Smoking, drinking, and other unhealthy lifestyle choices are notoriously hard to break. We need to go one step further to break those habits, rather than going in blindly and hoping that they’ll change. 

On this episode of Becoming Kings, we’ll discuss how creating leverage and associations with lifelong behaviors can create decisive and long-lasting gains in your life.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• How long does willpower work? (0:52)
• What is dieting? (4:20)
• Breaking lifelong habits. (8:13)
• Why Tony doesn’t drink. (12:03)
• Creating leverage. (15:04)

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We wait because we’re scared

Life is happening to each of us, but how aware are we of that fact? Even if you are aware, the happening doesn’t always take precedence. Instead, we find ourselves waiting for something to happen. I’ve found that one prevailing feeling lords over us when we contemplate taking action instead of waiting.

Fear

We’re waiting to meet the right person, invest in the right business, or take the right job. Instead of being proactive, we are reactive. We wait for the exact right moment, because we fear change in our lives. We all feel that fear, but what are the ways we can move past it and go out and live life, rather than letting it happen to us? We tell ourselves stories about why we cannot have the things we want. 

How does one do away with fear and start living in a way where they stop waiting for life to happen to them? On this episode of Becoming Kings, we’ll unpack that question and stop holding our lives on standby. 

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• What are YOU waiting for? (0:47)
• Fear. (3:52)
• Thinking outside of the box. (7:40)
• What are you putting off? (11:06)
• Pursue that which you want. (13:47)

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Trauma spans across time. 

You won’t know where you’re going unless you reckon with where you’ve been, and in many cases, where your family has been. Our parents’ and grandparents’ lived experiences echo across time and generations unknowingly affect how our lives and our children’s lives unfold. 

Dynas Purins is all too familiar with the concept of trauma across time. His father grew up under occupation in Latvia during World War II and his mother immigrated from the Phillipines during a turbulent time in the country’s history. With his father passing away in his mid-20’s Dynas realized he was turning into a person he couldn’t recognize anymore.

Everything he held dearly in his life — his car, business, and relationships — left him feeling hollow and unfulfilled. Now a successful entrepreneur, Dynas has learned how to harness the memories of his father’s life and use it to help other men relieve themselves of their own generational trauma. 

How does the weight of time affect us as our lives go on, and how can we move past it? What tools are available to you to spread generational light? We get into that and much more on this episode of Becoming Kings.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Standardize self love. (1:53 )
• Transitioning from acquisition to impact. (13:18)
• From numbness to rage. (29:59)
• The collective consciousness starts with you. (45:35)
• The antidote to your personal darkness. (1:01:14)
• Dynas, a man who has put in the work to heal. (1:12:22)

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Why do we repress our emotions?

From childhood, men are encouraged to divorce themselves from emotion. In our culture, the most powerful male figures are depicted as having no emotion, strong leaders, and most importantly, they will never shed a tear. 

Opening up and being vulnerable has been divorced from the male psyche. 

If men are not at that stage of development, or at least not in pursuit of it, then they are seen as followers. They are not worthy of becoming thought-leaders, successful in business, or kings. We have been fundamentally divorced from ourselves. This poses a harmful paradox, where men are being pulled apart at the seams from being their true selves and who society wants them to be.  
My question is, why is it that the thing women appreciate most in men, being emotional, empathetic, and vulnerable, considered taboo amongst most men? On this Friday’s Becoming Kings, we’re breaking down how we are taught to divorce ourselves, how to fight back against that notion, and who the real kings in our culture are.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• How we are taught to divorce ourselves. (0:49)
• The beautiful and emotional. (4:46)
• The constant reminder. (8:49)
• 50 shades of Intimacy. (13:00)
• The true men in society are emotionally-connected men. (16:06)

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Trade certainty for fulfillment

So much time in our lives is taken up by necessities. Going to the grocery store, doing our taxes, work around the house, these are things everyone needs to do, but very few want to do. The biggest time suck for many of us though is our work, where very few men find true fulfillment. Everyone has to work out of necessity, but doing something that only brings me certainty and security gets old to me very quickly. 

We need to trade certainty and security for fulfillment. 

How much of your life is monotonous and predictable? I bet you can often find yourself  just checking the boxes, making sure that all your ducks are in a row. I can tell you right now, that is not a path towards lifelong fulfillment and growth. We need to have fun. Have great conversations, go to concerts, travel the world, have a quiet night in with your significant other. However fun manifests itself in your life is what you should be taking more time to do. 

This episode of Becoming Kings is aimed at supporting you in finding what makes you happy. Let’s find out how you can shed that lingering feeling of necessity and security.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• What are you REALLY doing in life? (0:46)
• Pressure suffocates. (4:14)
• What makes you happy? (7:41)
• How perspectives change. (11:12)
• What type of investment can you make in you? (14:15)

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Honing on productivity.

Lucas Root is the consummate entrepreneur. A consultant, investor, women’s personal coach, and business mentor, he has built a diverse and successful portfolio. What traits does he attribute his success to? 

Productivity and energy. 

Lucas has focused routines and habits that are conducive to healthy and efficient productivity.  He has used these techniques to train himself to be productive at everything from building businesses to chopping vegetables. Productivity is ingrained in every part of his life. 

Delineating between masculine and feminine productivity is another key part of Lucas’ work. Often we see these two traits as being opposites, but Lucas actually sees them as being in synergy. They feed off and are reliant on each other for success. In his eyes, we need to function as a battery, with ions working in tandem with each other with the ability to recharge. Too often we work like a gas tank, where we are forced into channeling our energy to work until the light comes on at “E.” 

On this episode of Becoming Kings, let’s find out how we can function more as a battery than a gas tank. How can we channel our energy into being more productive and efficient with our time?

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• The man, the myth. (0:47)
• We’re all creatures of routine. (7:21)
• Masculine & feminine. (15:20)
• Energetic archetypes. (25:09)
• The masculine that holds space and protects. (37:27)
• Where will innovation happen tomorrow? (43:22)

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Are you posting to prove something?

Social media is deeply ingrained in our society. There’s no shame in admitting that almost all of us are addicted to social media in some way. We all have our reasons for posting, whether it be to show off our exciting life, highlights, or simply increasing our engagement. I think many of us though have an ulterior motive for posting. Deep down, we’re insecure and looking for validation from others. 

I find myself not posting nearly as much as I used to for this very reason. Realizing that my social media use was ultimately a net negative on my life, I had to reconfigure my approach toward it. Now my social media use is based around one concept, intent. Can my social media be of service? How can I highlight others’ great work and celebrate their wins? Can I post something that will genuinely help or inform someone? What can I share that might inspire others? 

What are some ways we can reel in our worst tendencies on social media? Can we flip the script and start using it as a way to promote helpful resources? Or is it already too inherently harmful to us to be utilized for good? 

These are some of the questions I’m looking to answer on this Friday’s Becoming Kings episode.  Let’s break down this under-discussed problem and find ways to use social media with intent.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Are you even on social media? (1:10)
• What is your motivation to be on the socials? (6:34)
• Are you in integrity? (12:07)
• Chipping away at your insecurities. (17:48)
• What is your intention? (23:55)

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What Stage of Life Are You In?

We shift through stages of life without knowing it. Your identity as a man inevitably changes as time goes on, but how often are we aware of it? By studying and acknowledging these developmental stages we can then learn from them. 

A few years ago I was lucky enough to participate in an Ultimate Relationship Workshop that focused on the life cycles of how men’s identities are shaped while they grow. One of the topics of conversation was based on author Alison Armstrong’s theory of developmental stages. She has written and spoken about the concept of stages of life extensively, and though at first I wasn’t initially familiar with it, her work has stuck with me ever since. 

Today on Becoming Kings, we’ll break down Alison’s stages of life, their variations, and intricacies one-by-one. They are…

1. Page
2. Knight
3. Prince
4. Tunnel
5. King

After listening, tag me on social media and let me know what stage of life you are in. Where are you in your pursuit of becoming a King?

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Ultimate Relationship Workshop. (0:50)
• Page. (4:53)
• The Rogue Knight. (9:44)
• The midlife crisis and the tunnel. (16:01)
• Paying it forward. (21:26)
• Don’t kid yourself. (25:00)

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