Becoming Kings

What is your “Why?”

What is one thing you hold onto every day? If all else fails, what can you cling to that serves as your beacon to follow? Many of us call this our “why.” With the shifting paradigm of masculinity, men need direction and something valuable they can uphold on a daily basis. 

This week’s guest, Ray De La Nuez, calls this “Commander’s Intent.” An active duty Marine Corps Officer, Ray has spent over a decade assessing combat situations on the ground helping his fellow marines understand Commander’s Intent. His guiding principle? At the end of the day, what absolutely needs to happen and how can that be achieved? Through his lived experience, he has identified Commander’s Intent as the first step to establishing the ground rules for a mission, your life, or any other situation that may occur. 

All of this wasn’t so clear for Ray. Despite having a successful marriage, career, and family life, Ray still couldn’t grapple with his complicated relationship with his father and childhood. An immigrant from the Dominican Republic, Ray was left searching for answers as to why he still felt unfulfilled. It was only when he identified his own Commander’s Intent that he began to feel more confident and able to move forward. 

On this episode of Becoming Kings, we explore how Ray’s experiences in the Marine Corps have shaped who he is today, how grit plays a role in every part of our lives, and how we can all identify our “why.”

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Born & raised in the Dominican Republic. (1:34)
• A proud, self-acclaimed man. (8:45)
• Commander’s Intent. (19:16)
• A mentor’s ushering of the way. (29:57)
• Grit: fighting three opponents at once. (40:15)

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Doubt and apathy infiltrate life in different ways.

In my experience these feelings come into my life when fear overtakes your needs. Specifically, for me, the fear of the unknown makes me feel numb and doubt my ability to get things done. But can anyone truly know how something is going to turn out? 

Dealing with self-doubt is something I grapple with constantly. Am I good enough? Am I lovable? Can I follow through on my promises? 

Self-sabotaging my current self to avoid facing my future-self. I move past these doubts by acknowledging my limited beliefs, refuting them, and replacing them with what I know to be true. 

The most recent example for me was wondering whether or not my new book, Becoming Kings: A Modern Man’s Path to Being Powerful, Purpose-Driven, and Fulfilled in a World that has Taught You Not to Be, was actually any good. Would men want to hear what I have to say? Well I can tell you based on the reception I’ve gotten, those fears were completely unfounded.

Sit down with me for this episode of Becoming Kings and think about what self doubt does to you, and how you can move past your insecurities. If you want to dive even deeper into topics like these, pick up a copy of my new book at http://www.BecomingKingsBook.com.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Dealing with doubt. (0:47)
• Sabotaging my current self. (5:54)
• Did you ace the test or bomb it? (12:33)
• Self doubt coupled with high standards. (18:32)
• Take action in the face of failure.  (23:26)

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Why write a book?

Today, I’ve given the mic to my roommate, Dan Meinerz, to interview me on the making of Becoming Kings: A Modern Man’s Path to Being Powerful, Purpose-Driven, and Fulfilled in a World that has Taught You Not to Be. 

We dove straight into it, similarly to how in the book I share three life defining moments. The first of those moments was my mom’s passing when I was 26. And one of the many, many lessons I learned from that time was that being vulnerable and showing emotions isn’t a negative thing. 

This was reaffirmed when writing Becoming Kings, moving through the fear of the unknown or others’ judgements — being vulnerable with you — meant I could help so many more. So when I’m asked “Why write a book? Why call it Becoming Kings?” I will continue to answer because persevering even when fearful, being vulnerable, and taking action is what we all need to know. 

My goal for this book is to show men, specifically, that it’s okay to not have all the answers. It’s okay to feel. It’s okay to be afraid. It’s okay to be wrong. And it’s okay to be fully you. My hope is that you read this book and are inspired to take action even when you don’t know how it’ll turn out. 

Move through the fear. Be vulnerable. Take action.

For those that have purchased the book, thank you. I appreciate you. For those that haven’t, what are you doing? Grab a copy at www.BecomingKingsBook.com.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Flipping the script. (0:46)
• Vulnerability is Power. (5:54)
• Some of the best advice ever. (12:29)
• We are the culmination of our experiences. (18:31)
• Be vulnerable, coachable, take risks through action.. (25:05)

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Ratings and reviews matter, right?

Everyone is bound to make a judgement call at some point in their lives, more than once really. Every time I’m making a turn on a drive, I need to make the judgement call of pulling out in front of a car or not. Then there are times when we’ll judge others on something they do or don’t do. 

On dating apps we make judgements based on a photo. When we go out to restaurants we look up the reviews first. Before we rent an Airbnb we look at the ratings to make sure the host is a fit or if we’re renting to someone we’re making sure they’re a decent guest. 

I’ve had my fair share of experiences renting either my Airbnb out or my car and those reviews have saved a lot of hassle (maybe). In this episode of Becoming Kings I dive into the judgements made in my life, the experiences I’ve had, and what it means to be your word. 

Also, a special thank you to everyone that has purchased a copy of Becoming Kings: A Modern Man’s Path to Being Powerful, Purpose-driven, and Fulfilled in a World That Has Taught You Not to Be. It was released earlier this week and became an Amazon Best Seller within the first 24 hours! If you haven’t grabbed a copy yet, you can at www.BecomingKingsBook.com.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Types of judgement (2:00)
• Reviews, Fools, and Shame (3:25)
• Getting saucey (6:20)
• Times of judgement (8:01)
• Ripple effects (10:02)
• Rental experiences (13:00)
• Be your word (16:19)
• Becoming Kings (19:36)

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Reckoning with your childhood memories.

Everyone has favorite memories from their childhood that they cherish for life. These formative times in our lives are often looked back on with nostalgia, through rose colored glasses. But what is really behind the looking glass and those memories? What were the motives of our parents then and how do their choices affect our lives today?

That’s what I was trying to get to the bottom of last weekend when I took part in an “Embracing your inner child” workshop. I wanted to find out what my eight-year-old self would have to say to current-day me. What I found was incredibly insightful, yet hard to come to terms with. 

This episode of the Becoming Kings podcast is filled with important questions. How do our childhood memories manifest in our adult lives? What coping mechanisms did I unknowingly create to feel safe? And how can I reckon with these memories and use them to heal untreated wounds?

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Let’s talk about the weather. (0:46)
• Growth is exciting! (6:03)
• Where the wounded child hides. (12:11)
• If you didn’t feel safe as a child… (18:45)
• When will you be enough? (24:14)
• A heart full of gratitude. (28:37)

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It is never too late to turn your life around.

This week’s guest on Becoming Kings podcast, Greg Ballard’s life had no sense of direction. He was living on the street, partyin nonstop, doing drugs and had dropped out of high school. 

Then, everything changed. 

He rediscovered his faith and turned his life around. He received his GED, got a steady job, and now runs his own executive consulting firm. Using his life experience, Greg is a master at telling executives and entrepreneurs where to focus their energy and how they can be more empathetic towards their coworkers and employees. 

Greg uses the concept of “Heartset” to gain clarity on their values, what is important to them, and ultimately what they want out of life. From there you can find out what some of the mindsets you can use to be successful. This philosophy has led to Greg’s success in business and in life. 

On this episode of the Becoming Kings podcast, we’re going to dive deep into the concept of having a strong “Heartset” and how it can be used as a tool to become a better person, businessman, and significant other.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• The life of Greg. (1:44)
• Transformation through Faith. (10:39)
• Mindset vs Heartset. (22:53)
• Dialing in your creativity. (34:09)
• The difference between behavior and habit. (43:29)
• Driving organizational change. (50:16)

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What it means to be a spy in a relationship…

During the September 2021 Meeting of Men, Traver Boehm spoke about covert contracts within relationships. What the heck is a covert contract? 

Communication is key to any healthy relationship. As much as we may want to read minds, we aren’t able to yet. When it comes to relationships — in this case romantic relationships — we must communicate to one another so that a win-win situation is created. 

Covert contracts are agreements you’ve created without having communicated it with your partner. When those contracts are created resentment can occur…have you experienced that before? Doing something for your partner and expecting something in return, but not getting it?

This time on the Becoming Kings podcast, we’re giving tips to improve communication with your partner so resentment isn’t created in the relationship. And did you hear, Becoming Kings the book is coming out on October 12th! Check out https://johnnyking.com/kings to get on the list and be notified the moment it’s available.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Covert Contracts. (2:01)
• Your needs are my needs. (5:03)
• We’re never taught how to communicate. (8:30)
• You must speak your needs clearly. (11:56)
• Relationships that stand the test of time. (14:37)

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Cash is King.

Is cash really king, or is cash flow king? I grew up hearing “cash is king, cash is king,” however regardless of the amount of cash I may have in the back doesn’t change the amount of stress I feel in life. 

The more cash flow I have in my life will keep stress away. Let’s talk cash flow for a moment, any passive income coming into the bank allows for more time spent doing what I want. We know where we spend our time matters, and what we spend our time doing matters. 

The more you can look to lower your fixed expenses and eliminate those large expenses, the sooner you can let go of that financial stress. Then you can lean into the life you want, the one that drives you forward. 

This time on the Becoming Kings podcast, we’re diving deep into what it means to have cash flow and the unconventional ways you can acquire income producing assets.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• What’s your greatest asset? (0:45)
• Surprise! Money doesn’t make you happy. (5:13)
• Turo. (11:25)
• Sunday evening dread. (17:53)
• Knowing that you’re enough. (22:39)
• Automated income. (26:59)

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Targeting the mind rather than the matter.

Addiction is a very real disease, with a massive impact on our society. It’s so widespread that 1 in 5 Americans know someone who has overdosed on the substance they’re addicted to. It has to stop… the question is how?

Men disproportionately struggle with substance abuse, and that’s why I’m so passionate about finding an answer. Thanks to Dr. Robb Kelly, we may just have one. With TWO PhD.s in Psychology (one with a focus in behavioral science), Dr. Kelly has spent his life studying addiction and how to beat. 

Using himself as a case study, he built a theory of addiction: one that ties addiction to trauma rather than substance. In some cases, the substance itself IS highly-addictive, yet the will to quit is trapped behind trauma. 

Having recovered from his own life of addiction he was able to map the moment he broke its hold on his life: by digging in and unearthing the toxicity that had rooted itself in his life, he gained a foothold for recovery. 

This is what makes the 250th episode so exciting! We’ve got a HUGE guest, a fascinating topic, and an incredible conversation for you to listen in on with this episode on the Becoming Kings podcast. 

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Renown Addiction Consultant. (1:00)
• Why do we self-sabotage every single time? (7:53)
• Life is still living. Keeping things fun! (18:44)
• Getting that life you’ve always yearned for. (29:20)
• Chippin’ away on someone who needs help. (39:33)
• Stress & trauma will KILL YOU! (49:07)

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