Becoming Kings

Expectations are a measuring stick for failure.

Ever get that desire to hide out at home and binge television, or sit in that dark depressive cloud hanging over your head? I think we’ve all been there, and it’s something that can feel difficult to fight the right way. 

The obvious answer is to give in and do what it says, yet that can often just perpetuate the cycle you’re experiencing. 

Instead, the answer is far more counterintuitive. Why does going against it work?

Well, part of the issue is that when we give in we create a barter with ourselves. We expect that in a few days we’ll feel better. When we don’t, though… We set ourselves to fall deeper in. 

It’s frustrating and demoralizing. And that’s why we have to do the exact opposite of giving in to what it wants us to. This time on the Becoming Kings podcast, we’re unpacking depression, anxiety, and taking action at the first sign of going down.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• I like to party. (0:54)
• Social anxiety when going out. (3:19)
• Letting go of the expectations. (6:49)
• Be aware of your “chicken exits”. (10:33)
• Consistently step out of your comfort zone. (13:40)

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As long as you have a pulse, you can change ANYTHING.

I get it. Life has a way of not going exactly how you want. 

It certainly hasn’t gone the way I planned for myself. And I think for both of us, it’s a fact that can wear us down over time. I know I have days where reflection makes me feel like a lot of the things I’ve accomplished weren’t really worth the uphill battle. 

But then I remember that change is always an option. We don’t have to give up and lay down. WE CAN live the lives we desire. 

All it takes is flipping our perspective on what it means to give up. As men, we ought to consider adopting the idea that we’ll give up when we’re dead. I know we both desire to be deeply resilient, and the ONLY way to cultivate this is to start with that self-talk. 

This time on the Becoming Kings podcast we’re going to take a candid look at what it means to give up… and how we can dramatically shift our lives when we remove the option.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Throwing in the towel. (0:47)
• And THEN what would you do? (4:26)
• Becoming Kings Books available 10.12.21 (8:02)
• We all need a certain amount of stress. (11:51)
• If you’ve been in the muck, it’ll pass. (16:15)

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Living for deep, personal work.

From playboy to transformational coach, Brian’s life only realigned once he sought to go deeper than ever before. 

There’s a lot of transformational coaches out there. And after more than a few years of talking with them, I can tell you that the ones who are legit—the ones who can effectuate real change in their clients—are the ones who walk the walk. 

Brian faced down his quickly spiraling life and reclaimed it through the power of plant-based medicine. 

For Brian it revealed many truths about who he was, helping leave behind the facade of someone he never wanted to be. Today, he’s fully connected: physically, spiritually, and mentally to himself and his wife, Danika. 

Together they’ve conquered their traumas—even conditions that they were told it was impossible to overcome. Because of the work they’ve done successfully, and Brian’s personal transformational story I can’t imagine anyone better to bring on the podcast. 

That’s why on this episode of the Becoming Kings podcast I sat down with Brian to unpack everything, from plant-based medicines, trauma healing techniques, and fundamentally shifting who we are as people.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• This is the time! (1:27)
• Logic based vs emotional reality mirroring. (11:46)
• Working through deep childhood trauma. (23:30)
• The growing sense of love. (34:01)
• Trauma healing through workshops. (43:39)
• Plant medicines, meditations and breath work. (51:31)

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Keeping the ego in check.

When things get heated with people we care about, what’s one of the first things that comes out of our mouths?

“I feel like YOU do that to hurt me!”

Or at least, some variation of that. This reflex to blame the other person comes out when our egos are left unchecked. The beauty of embarking on the journey of self improvement is that over time you’ll be able to distance yourself from the ego, and show much deeper compassion to others.

Of course, it also means that you can ensure you’re not creating unrealistic expectations and strife in your relationships. Unfortunately, the ego is a tricky thing to overcome at times, which is why it tends to infect our relationships in four key areas. 

Good news is, on this episode of the Becoming Kings podcast we’re going to identify these four areas, while also giving you the antidotes you need to treat your ego and avoid these pitfalls!

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Choose your own adventure. (1:28)
• Criticism. (6:11)
• When you get overwhelmed with an attack. (12:28)
• The antidote to contempt. (18:02)
• Finding deeper levels of empathy. (25:52)

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Cutting through information overload.

You know, sometimes we need to take some time to reset our minds. In those moments where we try to relax and shove away weeks of overstimulation, sometimes old pain rears its head. 

One of the things the guys I coach bring up is that this pain makes them so uncomfortable that they stop letting their brains unwind and go back to numbing it out with more screen time or whatever made them overstimulated in the first place. 

How did we get to a place where the past was so painful that it’s easier to keep ourselves strung out? 

Honestly, it’s pretty easy to fall into. As someone who has been guilty of this in the past, I want to share with you a story about a particular moment… a time and place where I ended in that exact situation I described. 

In this episode of the Becoming Kings podcast, we’re going to unpack how to deal with “flashbacks” and how to work through them instead of running.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Up’s & Down’s. (0:59)
• Crap shoot. (5:08)
• Venom. (9:11)
• Super sensitivity. (13:43)
• The wounded child. (17:27)
• Feeling more disconnected? (20:03)

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Cultivating deeper connection.

On first impression, Stephan Spencer doesn’t seem like the “spiritual type.” He’s a highly successful SEO expert, 3-time author, podcaster, and business consultant. 

And when you strip away the business talk, you find a man connected deeply to himself and spiritual energies. A long-time student of Tony Robbins, his life was fundamentally changed when he completed the iconic fire walk. 

Becoming spiritually awakened was the foundational moment for his future—opening previously unimaginable doors to him. 

Whether he’s sharing SEO secrets in his content, imparting truths about professional development at speaking events, or getting candid about his spirituality, Stephan is all around compelling, brilliant, and thought provoking. 

On this episode of the Becoming Kings podcast, we go deep into spirituality, romance, connection to something greater, and principles to live by.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Surrendering to attracting the ideal mate. (2:18)
• A revealing of the matrix & a spiritual awakening. (11:38)
• Achieving completion of the soul contract. (20:37)
• An LSD trip without the LSD. (31:32)
• You can avoid the Mack Truck wrecking your life. (40:03)
• The awakening is contagious and spreading. (46:37)

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Don’t be quick to play into your personal stereotypes.

Men have a tendency to be very straightforward, and women fairly vague. 

While I realize this isn’t always true… It was definitely pretty true for me, in just about any situation that required sensitivity and tact as a man. I am a bit more sensitive than my appearance lets on, as a teen I hid that. 

By leaning into the straightforward, I definitely hurt my fair share of girls.

Even as an adult, I hurt my fair share of partners. This automatic mode, while not always unhelpful, we have to remember that being self-aware and flexible is really important. 

By looking to the past with a critical lens, we can learn a lot about ourselves. Whether it’s where we lean into masculine or feminine energy, or how we show up in tricky situations. 

On this episode of the Becoming Kings podcast we’re going to discuss self-awareness and how we can create lasting habits that will help us as we go forward in life.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• The Wonder Years. (1:21)
• Is life a fairy tale? (4:56)
• Is being “male”, being emotionless? (9:04)
• You minimize out of your own woundedness. (14:05)
• Get curious about your why’s. (18:11)

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How do you go about fulfilling your needs?

Too often we get sucked into the chaos of life—and when we lose ourselves to the noise we find ourselves trapped in a fake world. 

One where we don’t believe in ourselves, our abilities, and what drives us. 

In case you’re lost, The Matrix is a critically acclaimed sci-fi film about humanity’s future where everyone is uploaded to a simulated version of life. Now bear with me, we’re not going to get all theoretical and whacky with this! 

The part I want to zero in on is where we started: we can get trapped in this fake life where we totally avoid fulfillment, making all the wrong choices for us and our relationships. Problem is, when we aren’t fulfilling our needs, we slowly degrade. 

And it’s at this point that we NEED to wake up to reality. The comfortable, no resistance life where everything is a little gray, a little lackluster, is actually just killing you. 

So, in this episode of the Becoming Kings podcast we’re unpacking the real life matrix, and our fundamental needs.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• The experience of being in a movie theater. (0:50)
• Clear the runway for greater bandwidth. (6:06)
• How well are you fulfilling your partner’s needs? (11:39)
• No one will leave if their needs are being met. (17:01)
• Constructive, Destructive or Neutral. (21:33)
• Does money or success bring you significance? (24:05)

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Creating mental space wherever you go.

Mindfulness is the ultimate skill we can cultivate to maintain awareness in every moment of life. 

If it’s so useful though, why do so many people struggle to gain the skill? According to Chris Dumler we tend to overcomplicate the process. 

Mindfulness studies are something that academic institutions are putting BIG money behind right now, and because it’s represented as a pinnacle life skill we assume it’s difficult. 

Likewise, there are many other life skills that are associated with mindfulness, creating something of a “chicken and egg” problem. For example, if someone finds meditation difficult, they may assume that they’re unable to achieve mindfulness… 

As it turns out, there is a much simpler way to achieve mindfulness that doesn’t require meditation. All it requires is a repeatable thought process you can learn in this episode of the Becoming Kings podcast. 

I sit down with Chris Dumler, a good friend and mindfulness coach who has the answers YOU need to start your mindfulness journey.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Mr. Miyagi, Chris Dumler. (0:46)
• How do you employ more mindfulness. (9:31)
• Can you create more mindfulness in normal day life? (19:41)
• Muscle memory kicks in as the result of training fundamentals. (29:50)
• It’s not easy, however it’s worth it. (39:50)
• Energy, nutrients and quality of life. (48:29)

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They say that money is the “root of all evil.” and while there are many ways to prove the statement I think it distracts from the real impact of money. Once you’ve got enough, the financial security in your bank account can quickly reveal the emptiness of your life. 

Growing up, I lived in a fairly wealthy family. It’s because of this that I think I have a different relationship with money than many of my peers. I immediately saw how having the funds of security didn’t immediately equal unparalleled happiness. 

I still longed to see my parents happy. I still experienced pain because my father and I were not close. 

Now, that’s not to say I’m going to sit here and tell you to never make money. In fact, IT’S GOOD to make money. However, I want to take some time to unpack what money CAN and CAN’T do for your life. 

Because far too many people in life solely chase it because it’ll buy them happiness. In this episode of the Becoming Kings podcast, we’re going to talk about money, happiness, and how to make sure you’re chasing what you truly desire.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Mike Cambell the Stone Fruit Eater. (0:52)
• Does money bring you fulfillment? (3:39)
• What needs does money provide you? (6:34)
• What’s TRULY valuable doesn’t require any money. (8:51)
• Motivated by pain vs giving. (10:51)

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