Becoming Kings

Where do you want to spend the best years of your life?

As a fighter pilot in the UK, Rich Aboboto discovered what true freedom—and danger—really looked like. It was high-speed, high-stakes execution in the air, with the understanding that just one mistake could be the end of his career… or his life. 

Now years later, Rich challenges people to deeply consider what they should be doing with the best years of their lives.

Becoming a coach and high-achieving individual, he had to learn how to integrate everything he learned from his military career and bring fulfillment into his civilian life. 

During our conversation, we zeroed in on some key elements each person needs for increased fulfillment (hint hint, it’s not all the money you imagine), and it’s definitely not working yourself to the bone. 

Come ready to experience this episode of the Becoming Kings podcast, because Rich will share his outlook on life, tools of fulfillment, and the questions he uses to find his way when things become uncertain.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Maverick of the Royal Airforce. (2:56)
• Dealing with the pressures of piloting fighter jets. (10:13)
• A catastrophic engine failure. (20:26)
• London UPW. (29:26)
• Learning to turn your beliefs around. (38:37)
• Working through personal doubt. (46:48)
• What lights Rich up! (52:14)

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Getting to the heart of our actions.

That thing, person, or change you’ve said you’re committed to… Are you actually?

Most of us buckle under pressure. And when we buckle under the weight of holding a commitment, it begs us to question whether or not we were committed in the first place. I’ve seen guys struggle to stay committed to their spouses, working out, getting that new job, earning the money they know they can. 

Why?

Because we might actually be committed to something else. The trick then is to root them out. But how can we actually do that if we don’t know?

In this episode of the Becoming Kings podcast, we’re going to look at commitment and show you how to seek out your true commitments so you can start creating effective growth and change in your life.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Let’s talk shop shall we? (1:32)
• Do circumstances create commitments? (4:01)
• Commitment only takes place in the present. (7:47)
• What are you more committed to? (11:18)
• Commitment only happens when it’s tested. (14:32)
• Declare your commitments daily. (18:08)

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Do it with everything you’ve got.

Lately, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about freedom, empowerment, and conviction. All these things allow us to thrive, yet we can be so quick to discard, reject, or downplay their importance in life. 

To the point I fear that many men genuinely believe they’re unable to take control of their lives in any meaningful way. 

When I think about the states many of the men I chat with fall into, it’s become clear that there’s one pervasive theme that drags them down…

Hoping SOMEONE or SOMETHING will happen out of the blue. Some guys wish they could win the lottery, others wish that their soul-mate would simply appear one fateful day. Now, don’t get me wrong, sometimes these things DO happen (in a manner of speaking) yet it’s up to us to make our own luck. 

And rather than keep wishing huge, meteoric life changes would occur, we can put all our effort into smaller things that will make a difference. Because the truth is we DO have a power within us to make a difference. 

This time on Becoming Kings, I’m going to share how YOU can zero-in on something you want to change and make it happen.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• The time is NOW. (0:51)
• My victim story that holds me back. (3:25)
• You have to be your own leader. (6:11)
• Focus, commitment, execution to the unknown. (8:43)
• Double down on where you’re scared to fail. (11:28)

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Accepting who you are in life.

Every one of us has a story—good, bad, ugly—and they’re what make us who are today. Sometimes, we feel deep shame about who we are, wish we could run from our choices, or feel trapped by the narrative others have given our lives. 

Cultivating the courage to own our story can take some work, however it’s certainly not as hard as you think (as long as you’ve got an appetite for reflection). That’s where Marjah Simon-Meinefeld can help. 

Marjah speaks from a place of experience in this, being struck with a “triple devastation” that drove her to study, learn, and recontextualize her entire life. This transformation was so powerful for her that her intensive schooling, certification to practice law in the Supreme Court, and former career in the military all pale in comparison… 

As a transformational life coach, she brings the culmination of her work to others so they can also thrive. Supporting people all around the world in reclaiming their health, mindset, and lives is what she lives for. 

Marjah joins me on this episode of the Becoming Kings podcast to help us uncover the power of our stories, why owning up to our past is important for moving forward, and how we can radically transform our lives with just a little effort.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Wisdom from a best selling author coach. (1:56)
• Don’t have a decade to write a book? (10:03)
• Passing along wisdom from legends. (20:26)
• You’re not alone or taboo. (29:47)
• Sharing your story with the world. (39:12)
• Changing your life’s story to empower you. (49:02)

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Chasing the elusive carrot.

A lot of the guys I talk with love to “move the goalposts” on themselves. They’re cruising toward success with a task or goal, and suddenly they’re overwhelmed with the feeling of “This isn’t enough!” 

This is something that befalls me from time to time. What can we do about it?

It might feel like a complicated answer, however it takes unraveling the mess around us. Instead of retracing our steps from how we went from Point A to where we ended up, it’s better to step back (and step out) of the overwhelm. 

Too often we get caught up on everything that went wrong, or everything we need to do to feel like we’re achieving, that it extends the feelings we’re trying to remedy. 

It’s when this happens that we begin chasing an uncatchable carrot. 

On this episode of the Becoming Kings Podcast, we’re looking at commitment, and the complexity of addressing our insecurities. Let’s stop the carrot chance and recognize what we’re doing right.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Chasing that elusive carrot? (1:00)
• Would you rate anything in your life a 10? (4:18)
• Constant and never ending disappointment. (8:11)
• Will affirmations work? (11:58)
• Forgiveness and the truth. (15:13)
• Want a free coaching session? (18:11)

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Processing the past to move forward.

Grief plays a very important role in our development as people. However, to process it in a productive way, we must first understand how it interacts with our lives. 

Only then can we use it as a powerful healing agent to empower our futures. 

Like many of the men I speak with on a daily basis, I’m no stranger to the burden of grief. Losing my mother and experiencing divorce were two of my lowest moments, and under different circumstances they could have totally ruined me. 

Encountering grief in an environment of processing takes a few things…

Grit, a commitment to bouncing back, and a willingness to stop yourself from burying the pain when it comes. And if you’ve got those in your back pocket, walking through the five stages becomes so much easier. 

On this episode of the Becoming Kings Podcast, we discuss the nature of grief and how we can use it to truly move forward.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• When your world is turned upside down. (1:16)
• Shock and Denial. (4:49)
• Anger is a natural feeling. (8:42)
• Bargaining our way to a different result. (12:58)
• Ya gotta get it OUT! (16:50)
• Acceptance of what is. (18:10)

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Free to be who you are.

Every day we tell ourselves stories as to why we can’t do something. Yet how often do we step back and see why we can do things? 

In talking with Mark Bentz, his entire life can be viewed as an exercise in seeing what he’s capable of, even though sight is an area where he lacks. Mark is legally blind (or vision impared), however it’s not something that holds him back. He’s an entrepreneur, philanthropist, massage therapist, public speaker, and educator. 

Even though he began losing his sight at the age of nine years old, he kept barreling toward all life had to offer him. 

Along the way he took what was labeled a significant roadblock in life, and turned it into his greatest strength. In choosing to lean into his freedom he’s accomplished more than anyone thought possible, while living a life unhindered by his degenerating sight. 

On this episode of the Becoming Kings Podcast, you’ll learn about Mark’s life, his mindset, and how YOU can live free, unhindered, and powerfully every single day.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• The nitty gritty. (1:31)
• Winning two gold medals. (10:06)
• When you stop growing, you’re dying. (20:49)
• Bathing yourself in a powerful morning ritual. (31:24)
• Creating a foundation to build off of. (40:51)
• Mark’s two powerful charities. (49:50)
• Coping mechanisms & memorized routes. (56:21)

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Taking the wind out of your sails.

We’ve all got crappy thought patterns. Sometimes we’re aware of them, other times we’re not… Yet these patterns come from a lack of perspective. 

The perspectives we hold about ourselves are interesting because, often when we’re aware of our crappy thought patterns we’re over-focused on ourselves, and when we’re not aware of them we’re over-focused on everyone else. 

Why does this happen?

Honestly, even after years of working with men and women, it’s unclear why the problem is so persistent. One thing I know to be true is that everyone is capable of balancing out their views of themselves, stop the comparisons, and start motivating themselves to achieve every single day. 

All it takes is… a little perspective. 

Before you start booing, the key to overcoming anything in our minds is a matter of adjustment. When we’re overfocused on ourselves, we need to ease off and see others (and the world around us), and when we’re overfocused on others, we need to turn toward ourselves a bit. 

Think this needs a little more explanation? If you listen to this episode of the Becoming Kings Podcast, you’ll leave the tools you need to overcome comparison and adjust your perspective!

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Don’t miss episode 223 w/ Mark Bentz. (0:51)
• The three buckets. (4:17)
• Robbing yourself of your motivation and commitment. (8:23)
• Never quit. Never give up the fight for growth. (12:21)
• You’re the King of your own Kingdom! (15:49)

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Fulfilling our six human needs.

Do you ever have this gnawing hunger for significance? I’m sure you’ve felt it. This need to feel important is often what drives us to pick at our romantic partners, closest friends, or family. 

Something about needing to be recognized turns us into some of the worst versions of ourselves. So, why exactly do we end up in these situations where we hurt others? 

Well, it’s an emptying of our six human needs (as coined by Tony Robbins). When those needs go unfulfilled it drives us into a corner, forcing us to act out of loneliness, fear, insignificance, or other feelings associated with our deprived states. 

What’s strange is that sometimes we find it easier to continue being empty, when it’s often far easier to get those needs met with an intentional conversation with someone you care about. Perhaps resisting recovery comes from not feeling we deserve it… 

Whatever the reason, if you’ve been experiencing states like these lately, this episode can help. 

This time on the Becoming Kings Podcast, we’re going to chat about pain, avoidant behaviors, and how to stop taking our feelings out on others.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• When your “rightness” backfires. (0:49)
• Burning bridges. (4:56)
• Freedom of choice. (10:10)
• Stop kidding yourself, you don’t have control. (15:38)
• How are you fulfilling your need for variety? (19:32)
• Why are you here? (23:18)

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Balancing risk and success.

When the opportunity for change strikes, it’s important to act fast on it. 

Interestingly, many of the people I’ve interviewed have stories of making quick decisions that got them where they are today. While they certainly made mistakes and missed out early in life, the reason they got where they are today was because they jumped almost immediately. 

And my guest on today’s episode of the Becoming Kings Podcast, Tom Ortolf, is no different. 

As a seasoned entrepreneur and corporate success, his life was a constant balance of risk and reward. He worked for companies like Taco Bell and helped launch the Dish Network, where he now serves on the Board of Directors. 

Tom’s journey only truly kicked off when he chose to work hard and take the opportunities that came to him. It led him down a path he never expected to be on… And now he’s sharing his story and insight with us! 

Check out this episode for a deep dive into how you can achieve a winning mindset.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Former President and COO of Ecosphere (DISH Network). (1:03)
• Early formative years and the power of a mentor. (14:08)
• International business & Harvard. (31:21)
• Sputnik & Ecosphere. (47:56)
• Leaving Taco Bell. (1:05:13)
• Great Clips, Super Cuts, Mailboxes Ect. (1:19:19)
• The hammer used against franchisees. (1:31:44)

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