Becoming Kings

From military special ops to men’s leadership coach.

Many men fail to put themselves under existential review. We’ve inherited broken blueprints of masculinity from the men in our lives, and it’s time to find out what we can do to fix it. 

That’s where Johnny Elsasser comes in. 

Being a hardass in the military wasn’t the answer to finding his masculinity. It took having his first marriage break down and undergoing immense change to realize what it looked like to be a man. Taking time alone to think and talk with himself was the catalyst to being active in his growth. 

It’s all about paralleling your actions with your words. Everything we do, or don’t, teaches others about who we are… and it’s even more true if you have a family. Your kids learn from watching you, which is why it’s so important to take a stand and find healthy masculinity. 

Some of us may be older than others, however it’s never too late to take a stand and be the man you want to be. Johnny Elsasser and I are here to break it all down for you, from military masculinity to loving fatherhood. 

This interview is one you won’t want to miss!

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Just skating by. (1:47)
• Excuses be gone! Wayne Dyer (9:30)
• Our sense of identity. (18:37)
• Imprinting of powerful ways of being. (26:19)
• Intimidation vs wholeness. (35:08)
• The Wild Man Experience! (42:59)

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Don’t ignore the signals that something is wrong.

Starting with this new coach has already uncovered deep insight into what motivates my actions. In our discussion this week, she noted that I seemed to harbor a lot of anger towards myself. In the past I’d processed a lot of anger tied to my parents, except I hadn’t considered myself as part of the problem. 

It was in that moment of digging in that she shared a unique perspective about anger with me… a total game changer that could help anyone make sense of the resistance that comes from bottling up self-anger. 

However, she didn’t just share that perspective, we got to the root of why prolonged self-anger is so problematic: it takes a very large amount of energy to keep it suppressed. Eventually, you spend a majority of your resources combating it, leaving you empty, directionless, and exhausted. 

Want to discover how to flip the script on your anger and how to manage it? Listen to find out.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Gettin’ real with y’all. (0:37)
• Suppressed anger turns the masculine apathetic. (3:04)
• You’re feeling stuck because you’re looking outside yourself. (6:12)
• What does an anger release practice look like? (9:35)
• Nice guys have a lot of anger. (12:29)
• Why you must release the energy before it builds. (15:12)

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Relationships often create baggage.

One of the hardest truths to recognize in this life is that we often are angry at others for not doing what we needed for ourselves. It’s a difficult thing to accept, because it’s often easier to shift the blame onto someone else than to accept that there’s more to the story. 

That’s not to say that our loved ones, former friends, or those who have hurt us in the past haven’t been at fault. However, much of the pain we experience can stem from not advocating for what we needed in the moment. 

My mother was one such person I had to resolve these feelings with. Sadly she had passed away long before I realized I had feelings I needed to confront her about. What are we to do when the people who have hurt us are no longer here to hear us out and reconcile? 

In today’s episode, I want to spend a couple minutes with you digging into how we can release anger, emotional hurt, and settle the negative feelings we hold toward others… whether they’re available to reconcile with or not.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• We are angry at other people. (1:09)
• Avoiding resolving shameful relationships. (2:26)
• Who are you REALLY angry with? (4:46)
• Remaining unconditionally loving. (7:20)
• Being the first to offer an olive branch. (9:12)

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Life always finds a way.

Before he became the man he is today, Dominic was essentially a shut-in. The anxiety he suffered from drove him to a life of functioning around his mental health rather than tackling it head on. 

A lot of us have struggled with anxiety at different points in our lives, however Dominic’s was on a completely different level. Debilitating in every way, constant panic attacks, hardly able to eat or drink at times, and yet at several key points in his life he would figure out how to work with it or around it. 

However one day, he had to make a choice… his family’s hand had been completely shredded by layoffs and an economic recession.

So he forced himself out the door and went door to door to make money. His life’s story is harrowing, inspiring, and truly one of the most intense I’ve heard! Today, he’s a successful businessman and it only came once he resolved to push past his limits for the survival of his family. 

How did he go from an anxiety overloaded house-husband to successful businessman?  You’ll have to listen to find out.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• The beginning of Dominic’s anxiety. (2:12)
• The building blocks of anxiety. (8:48)
• Raising the bar. (16:48)
• Life beyond not being able to leave home. (24:32)
• Anxiety vs excitement. (33:40)
• Getting over childhood trauma. (42:04)
• When one door closes, another opens. (50:25)

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Questioning to seek clarity and find energy.

Since I started this journey as a men’s coach, I’ve usually had a coach in my life. 

After everything that 2020 brought up in me, I realized it was time to make sure I had someone holding me accountable and asking the hard questions. Without keeping myself in tip-top shape how am I supposed to keep doing the work I do with my brothers? 

One important lesson I’ve learned along the way: it’s important to investigate whenever you’re feeling like something is missing. Whether it’s a spiritual, mental, physical, or emotional hole that needs feeling you’ll find it difficult to be your best for the people who need you to be. 

That’s why during this year with TJKS I’ll be asking the hard questions. Starting with “Do you ever feel like something is missing?” Join me on this exploration of seeking answers!

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Feeling flat. (1:04)
• Coaching support. (3:18)
• Throwing your potential away? (5:37)
• This is the work I’m committed to in 2021. (7:51)
• A community of people willing to do the work! (10:10)

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“Was this the life I wanted?”

A little more than ten years ago, I realized I’d gotten lost in the happily-ever-after. I had a wife, house, dog, and a great paying job. Yet, it wasn’t making me happy… My marriage fell apart and my life was up-ended.

It hurt in the moment, though I cannot stress enough how much of a blessing it turned out to be for me. It taught me so much about what I had been denying myself, made plain what I needed to change, and made it possible to become the man I am today. 

So with 2021 here, I have to ask you: Is this the life you want? Or is it time to make some changes? One of the best ways to take on new opportunities is to figure out when you should say “Yes!” and “No.” 

How do you find out how to do that, and start living the life you want for yourself? You must discover your 3-5 top priorities.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Are you SO thankful 2020 is over? (1:20)
• Where are you directing your focus? (4:29)
• What is essential in your life and what isn’t? (7:46)
• What happens if you don’t keep organized? (11:09)
• What can you cut out to make time for the essentials? (13:51)
• What is one thing that would really move your life forward? (16:03)

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My dad and I have “the talk.”

Forget the birds and bees, we’re talking about breaking family patterns, reminiscing about history, and digging deep into everything Herb King has learned from life. 

Herb is an enigma… well at least he was until I could finally bring him on the show. 

He’s come up from time to time as the inspiration for my episodes about “the father wound,” and while we certainly had our dysfunctions in life, we have a great relationship now. I’m so proud to bring him here to talk through things from his perspective. 

We’re going to shoot all across the board in this episode: from being of service to clients and loved ones, to business, and the reason why we create things in our lives. This is a discussion of finding fulfillment in life and embracing the truth of your identity. 

If there’s anything I’ve learned from him over the years, it’s that it’s never too late to dramatically change your life. So, if you want to hear from the man behind my existence… now’s your chance.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• The Wonder Years. (4:48)
• Life gives us perspective. (12:39)
• What would you tell your 30 yr younger self. (21:19)
• Any regrets? (29:57)
• Herb’s favorite “johnny-ism” moment. (36:36)
• The self-awareness journey. (45:00)
• The worse the pain, the greater the growth. (50:46)

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Be the “doer of deeds.”

The guys in my mastermind have been tackling the aspects of their lives they want to change with full force. They’ve confided their fears, sorrow, and their loss of control in me… and yet they saw a future where they could be the person they want to be. 

I do this work because I was in their shoes in the past. I’d felt that I’d lost everything in one fell swoop and knew something needed to change. I sought help, did the work, and began to study what it meant to be a man. It was my pursuit of finding my greatness that led me to a quote from Teddy Roosevelt that you’ll hear in the episode. 

It was in this time of my life that I decided to stop watching others fight for the lives they wanted and climbed into the ring myself. Which is why I want to issue a challenge to you: look at where you’ve been and look at where you want to go this year. Then step up. 

If you feel it’s time to start fighting for your future, you’ll want to join me for the first The Johnny King Show episode of 2021. Challenge yourself, and become a “doer of deeds.” Let’s go!!

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• It is not the critic… (0:33)
• From the grandstands into the Arena. (2:59)
• Results focused Mastermind. (6:10)
• What if you’re feeling completely lost? (8:11)
• Create a life you can be proud of. (9:42)

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A pandemic, protests, and an election… It’s been quite the year.

Thank God, it’s New Year’s Eve Eve. We’ve seen the holidays come and pass, and nothing too substantially crazy has happened to cap off the year (here’s to hoping it stays that way). With 2020 almost in the rearview mirror, I’ve been wondering, “What’s next for me?” 

I’ve experienced many ups and downs, big wins, and even some low points. And I really don’t want to see 2021 be some sort of habitual repeat of 2020. So, it’s important for me, and I’m sure for you, to set some time aside to think. 

Reflection is something that can deeply affect your decision making for the better, however you need to be intentional about it. Dig into your pains, failures, and also everything that went well. Think of reflecting as cleaning your mental mirror. 

In this short episode, I’m going to challenge you to get clear on what you want for the future. Thank you for your continued support of the podcast, and for making 2020 a year worth remembering in my book. See you on the other side!

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• This year in review. (0:59)
• Are you learning from your failures? (2:41)
• What are you using as an investment in yourself? (4:44)
• What is your 2020 story? (6:20)
• Exercise: Start, Stop and Continue doing… (7:27)

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Chasing the creature of legend.

Sitting down with Jim in Bailey, CO was a magnificent treat for me. If you’ve been a listener for a while, you know I’m all about bigfoot. As a hiker, there’s a certain mythology that follows us revolving around the elusive beast, so getting to sit down with a man who studies the evidence… well let’s just say it’s a highlight of this year. 

If you’re unfamiliar with the legend, Bigfoot is a beast that has been seen by thousands, yet never captured alive, dead, or presented for testing. So how does this urban legend generate so much buzz? 

From strange cries in the wilderness to strangely mangled trees, close encounters, tracks, and even clumps of fur and blood, with each piece of new information the picture clarifies. For believers like me, and professional seekers like Jim, we know the truth is out there… close. These beasts have been spotted all around the world which makes the legends and evidence all the more compelling. 

Jim runs The Sasquatch Outpost in Bailey, which serves as a gathering place for tourists and like-minded seekers to prepare for their adventures into the wilderness. In this episode, we’re going to dive into the world of Bigfoot, the most documented “cryptid”  in history. Believe it or not, you’ll walk away more curious than ever.

In this episode you’ll learn about…

• Why do we believe more in aliens than bigfoot? (1:24)
• There is a nation-wide interest. (7:23)
• Do they have the ability to vanish into thin air? (13:56)
• How they walk the walk. (20:59)
• Pushing back against the resistance. (28:12)
• Tree twisting. (34:22)
• Mysterious deaths…by bigfoot? (40:29)
• Bigfoot adventure weekends. (45:46)

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